The first appointment is an assessment session to find out about the issues and then decide with you if I can be of further help. I will usually also offer practical advice towards the end of this session.
I offer two ways of working: NVR parenting advice
or family therapy
(one may also lead to the other).
If we contract to do further work, we will decide at this appointment which path to proceed with.
- NVR parent advice
is one or more sessions for parents only - Parent advice sessions may also lead to family therapy sessions. (Parenting advice is a very useful option when children refuse to participate in a session or when parents needs sound parenting advice, adult-to-adult, without the child present).
- Family Therapy
usually involves seeing the parents and children together. For this option, children have to be willing to attend a session, or part of a session. I do not see children for individual work, but sometimes it can be useful to see children on their own for part of a session.
My approach:
I offer a strengths-based approach - this means I will focus on ways to improve family life. I will, of course, listen carefully to all problems, but my preference is to work with you in finding solutions and this usually means not dwelling too long on problems. This can be described as a 'glass half full' approach.
More info:
To get the most out of the work, and to make it more cost effective, I will encourage you to try out ideas between sessions. My aim as a therapist is to make myself redundant as soon as possible. The number of sessions depends of the severity of the problem. Here is a rough guide: mild issues: 1-3 sessions; moderate issues: 3-6 sessions; severe or entrenched issues: 6-12 sessions.
Parent(s) find they are getting caught up in the criticisms / consequences approach and losing sight of positive elements of their parenting and positive aspects of their child. They can still see positive aspects, but these are beginning to fade as the parent feels very frustrated by the child’s attitudes and behaviour.
Parent(s) find their child increasingly frustrating to manage, and find they are either nagging much of the time or keeping their distance.
Parent(s) have become caught in what is sometimes called ‘the criticism trap’. The trap is that within the lure of critical comments and reprimands, no positive elements can be seen. (On examination, in my experience often parents are equally hard on themselves).
Frequency of sessions: At the end of the initial assessment session, we will then decide together if further sessions would be helpful. Sessions take place fortnightly, three-weekly, or monthly. These intervals allow time to put ideas into practice. The session may include sending you information about the tools that we look at, or you are very welcome to take brief notes during the session to refer to later.